Anal play or backdoor fun has become more commonplace (not to put you under any pressure) as more people both male and female are open to trying this kind of sex. And just like you would expect, anal play be it with a finger, toy, or penis requires good preparation.
This leads to the big question, especially as a curious beginner, how do you approach anal sex and ensure you have a safe and enjoyable experience?
Even as someone who has tried some backdoor fun before and wants to master a thing or two, there is so much you can learn and unlearn.
Here, we’ll walk through everything you need to know about this kind of sex or pleasure technique.
Why Anal Sex?
For the beginner who has never tried anal play, it can be intimidating to try it out for the first time. However, this must never be the case, as with the right preparation, communication, and techniques, this can be a memorable and pleasurable experience.
The catch for most people is that the anus is one of the most sensitive erogenous zones as it contains lots of nerve endings. It’s therefore a highly sensitive area and given its location that allows access to the prostrate for men and enhances vaginal pleasure for women, it creates a whole new sensation.
So, if you are ready to explore these new waters, shake off the nervousness and focus on safe anal play as it’s the key to unlocking this unique kind of pleasure.
The Best Way to Approach Anal Play
The unwritten rule of having great backdoor fun is to never rush things.
You’ll need a lot of patience. So, before you kick off anything, take your time and be fully prepared. Even after you begin some backdoor exploration, this rule still applies.
Now that you are aware of the essential rule to having backdoor fun, here are other beginner anal play tips to guide you through:
- Communicate Before, During, and After
You need to be on the same page with your partner when it comes to anal play or sex. So, start by communicating about how you will handle this new experience.
Besides discussing your expectations, fears, and desires, don’t forget the importance of external intimacy and arousal when it comes to any kind of sex. For example, if you are into dirty talk or role-playing, you can incorporate this into your preparation schedule so that both of you are enthusiastic about exploring these new waters.
Most importantly, establish boundaries and have safe words to use during the actual moment. Remember, you’ll need to regulate things like speed and depth without making it awkward or killing the mood, so ensure you discuss all these beforehand.
Approach this like an adventure rather than a usual race and focus on making each tiny moment count. Oh, and communication during intimacy will definitely ensure a smooth sailing.
- You’ll Need Lubricants (A Lot of It)
Anal play or sex has a kinky factor as unlike the vagina, the anus doesn’t produce its own lubrication. You must, therefore, be ready to use plenty of lube.
Don’t skimp when purchasing anal lubricants as more is always better for this kind of exploration. With enough lubrication, you can easily avoid the discomfort that most people associate with beginner anal play.
The best picks when shopping for lubes, especially if you’ll be using condoms, is water-based anal lubricants as they are the closest thing to natural lubrication and are easy to wash off. Silicone-based lubricants are also a good pick, especially if you’ll be using adult toys.
On the day you finally decide to do some backdoor exploration, apply the lube generously to the anus and surrounding areas as well as the penis or toy you’ll be using.
Note: Oil-based lubricants are not recommended if you are using condoms as they degrade them, making them tear or rip.
- Begin with Some Self-Exploration
Self-exploration before you finally get to try anal sex with a partner is very important. You don’t want your rectum going from a never-been-touched-before zone to a pleasure playground without first getting it accustomed to some kind of play.
Your fingers will come in handy for this as they can be safely inserted into the anus. Still, it’s important that you don’t go in rough and use a lot of water-based lube. You should also ensure your fingers are clean and nails are properly trimmed.
For the best experience, first stimulate yourself with pleasures you are used to be it vaginal, clitoral, or nipple stimulation. This will get your body in the right mood and once you are ready, you can lube your anus and fingers and do some solo-play.
You can do this a couple of times before you try it with a partner. Once you can comfortably use your fingers and find the experience enjoyable, you can take it to a new level with a butt plug.
If possible, get a beginner butt plug set that contains these toys in multiple sizes, so you can start from the smallest and work your way up.
- Good Hygiene is Key
It doesn’t matter the kind of backdoor fun you would love to try; be it rimming or a finger, penis, or toy in anus, hygiene is extremely crucial.
Before you engage in any kind of anal play, your body needs to be ready. First, you need to ensure that a bowel movement is not imminent, as the last thing you want is to create a mess when having some fun.
Part of anal hygiene is to ensure you have a good poop way before the act and thoroughly clean this area. If you have been doing some self-exploration and have regular bowel movements, this shouldn’t be much of a problem.
For first-timers, you need to be aware that during penetration the toy or penis gets to the rectum, which is responsible for storing poop before you go to the toilet and push it out. As a result, it’s normal for some fecal matter to remain in this area (whether visible or not), and you should be prepared to deal with this.
You can have some water, soap, and wet wipes or towels around. Also, have a pack of condoms nearby for ease in changing to a new one.
A good bath before the act will also ensure you are fresh and ready for fun with your partner.
- Position Matters
For good penetration during anal sex, you need to pay attention to the position you use. Certain positions make anal play more comfortable and enjoyable as they allow for better relaxation and control by the partner being penetrated.
As a beginner, you should avoid being on top as this will require you to use your legs more, causing the muscles around the anus to tighten. Instead, you can try lying on your side with one leg raised, or lying on your back at the edge of the bed with your legs raised, or on your partner.
However, if you like being on top, you can try reverse cowgirl, where your partner gets to lie on their back and you can straddle them while on your knees (avoid using the legs). But you should tell them not to pump or thrust, so you can have full control and take things very slowly.
The first time you opt for penetration using a penis or toy, you must take things step by step to avoid pain and discomfort. Don’t be in a rush for deep penetration or thrusting as your anus muscles and body are not yet used to this.
Strive to have fun with the little progress you make, it could be double-finger penetration, using a comfortable butt plug, or slight penetration within your comforts. Over time, you’ll get used to anal penetration and can go deeper or even enjoy thrusting.
- Relax and Don’t Ignore Discomfort
You and your partner need to be relaxed for enjoyable anal play. Do the things that help you feel great, whether it’s setting the perfect environment with some dim lights and music, role playing, or beginning with some amazing massages.
Slow, deep breaths as the partner being penetrated is also vital. Most importantly, keep checking with your partner and don’t ignore discomfort or pain. If you feel tense, there is always a next time or the alternative of enjoying some slow finger play or other kinds of sex.
- Have Time for Aftercare
Communication during intimacy is super exciting and sexy, but taking care of each other after trying new waters is a whole new level of connection. The partner being penetrated can take a shower after the act, or you can have a bath together and then enjoy some cuddling as you relax.
Later, you can discuss the entire experience and how it felt. It doesn’t have to be the perfect start and lead to those breathtaking anal orgasms you’ve always wanted, but it’s a step to achieving this later on.
Conclusion
How you and your partner approach anal play or sex matters a lot. If you purposefully decide to take things slow and enjoy safe intimacy, you’ll love the experience and look forward to more backdoor fun. For the perfect start, follow these beginner anal tips and don’t forget to pay attention to each other’s needs and comfort the only way to guarantee a smooth sailing and great finish.